I’m back home after this amazing Tour. It was beautiful, and exhausting. A marathon, and God was in it. It was demanding, and hard, but mostly it was beautiful. And filled with greater meaning. Something really important is taking place. Something really big.

Several years ago I was backpacking alone in the Collegiate Peaks Wilderness in Colorado. It’s something I try and do once a year, that is, head to the high country for some time alone with God. I was camped on a high shelf in a high valley. It was June, and there were still patches of snow. The days were warm but the nights were cold. One evening after dinner I was just sitting in camp as the sun set, not really wanting to go to bed but too cold to enjoy the evening. I was sitting sort of hunched over, my arms wrapped round my legs, when God said, “Build a fire.” I don’t normally build campfires when I’m alone; usually when it gets dark I’m in my bag in the tent, reading by headlamp. But I clearly heard him say, “Build a fire.” My first thought was where am I going to get dry wood? I stood up, and turned toward a line of tall spruce trees about thirty yards behind me. Though it was a long line of trees, my eyes went immediately to one tree in particular, to the base, and there, under a canopy of boughs, was a pile of firewood. Stacked. Under the tree. Not broken or gathered, but actually cut with a saw. How, in this remote valley, in this secluded spot, under one of a hundred trees, was it possible I would find an abundance of dry wood neatly cut and stacked??!!

I slowly turned around, slowly doing a 360, to look behind me, around me, fully expecting Jesus himself to be standing there, smiling. You can understand, I was blown away. I gathered some wood, and made a fire ring. But I made it small, like an Indian fire for one person, and the wood God had provided did not fit. He spoke again. “Build a bigger fire.” I pushed out the stones, made a bigger ring, stacked the wood and let ‘er blaze. I knew it was a moment filled with greater meaning. A prophetic moment, if you will.

Standing each night on stage during this tour, looking out at the bright eyes and earnest faces eager to connect with God, eager to live this life he is calling us to live, eager to share it with others, I realized. Here is the bigger fire. You are the bigger fire. It’s come true.

I just finished speaking in Orlando to a large gathering of youth pastors. I was talking about hearing God. The experience felt…a little weird. On one hand, I felt like I was speaking on something way too simple and obvious to justify a keynote talk, like telling them for forty-five minutes that they should drink water or get regular sleep. It felt so basic, so painfully obvious (even though I know they don’t practice this). On the other hand, at the very same moment I also felt like I was making a case for something really radical, really “out there,” like a fifth book of the Gospels. Thus the weird experience. This is really obvious. This is really a stretch.
At the end of the talk, I led them in a few moments of silence and listening to God.
Afterwards, there was a book signing, and God gave me two beautiful stories.
The very first woman to the table was so excited. “God just spoke to me,” she said, eyes bright with that “this is so real” brightness. “He just helped me find my checkbook. Its been missing for like three months, and he just told me where it was.” Inside I was cracking up. You are so funny, God. This is how you wanted to show her this is real, and that you know her. Her checkbook.
She bought five books to give to friends.
The next story came about twenty minutes later.
It’s a man this time, and he begins, “I’m not a very mystical guy.” I figured he was about to refer to the exercise where we listened to God, and I sort of smiled inside. When did talking to God become mystical? He continued, “But I did what you said and just got silent. And God said, Take Amy to St. John. Amy’s my wife, and God wants me to take her to the Bahamas.” I said, “Wow. Great,” thinking that was the end of the story. But he goes on, “After you finished I turned to the guy next to me and said, ‘I think God wants me to take my wife to St John.’ He said, ‘I have two tickets for St John and God has told me for awhile they are not for me but I’m supposed to give them to someone. So, you have two tickets for St. John.’”
They had just met.
How completely God is that?
And this fellow, he was pretty blown away. “That is crazy!!”
I just smiled and said, “Way to go. Enjoy the trip!”
It’s not crazy. Just wild, and beautiful, and pretty normal…when you walk with God.

I get up first in our house. Oban, our seven month old golden retriever, gets up with me. Or usually, he’s been up for awhile and finally gets tired of waiting so he growls a few times to wake me up. Time to take a pee. I let him out, and he just takes off like a rocket through the bushes into the neighbors and beyond. I’m yelling for him to come back. I’m whistling. I’m growling at him. Yes, growling. We took this “Australian” dog training course that says dogs need a pack leader so when they’re doing something bad growl at ‘em and they’ll stop. I’m standing out here in my boxers, no dog in sight, growling loud, and I wonder what the neighbors think. Oban’s not stopping. He is gone.
And I’m pissed.

By the time he gets back, happy as can be for the romp he just had, I am ready to give him a good thumping. I don’t. We don’t treat our animals like that. But the point is I wanted to. My anger is totally out there, exposed. I’m furious.

This anger thing is really ugly. And old. Its been a battle of mine for years. I’m asking God, What is this about, Lord? But I’m not ready to hear an answer yet ‘cause I’m still pretty mad so I make some oatmeal, feed Oban, and head into my office to pray my “morning prayers.” It takes awhile to get through those prayers, and I can’t even really get into it until I first confess my anger and ask forgiveness because everything else feels like a total sham till I do. But I’m coming back to God and to myself. After about 45 minutes I’m in a better place to hear.

Forgive me for this anger, Lord. What’s this all about?

And here is how God speaks this morning. I’m “moved” or “prompted” to pick up Diary of an Old Soul (by George MacDonald, the old Scottish poet). It’s sort of a daily reading I’ve been doing for years. I turn to today’s entry and here is how it reads:

Keep me from wrath, let it seem ever so right: My wrath will never work thy righteousness. Up, up the hill, to the whiter than snow-shine, Help me to climb, and dwell in pardon's light. I must be pure as thou, or ever less Than thy design of me--therefore incline My heart to take men's wrongs as thou tak'st mine.

Whoa. Of all the things, this one’s about anger. Now what’s really good about this is once again, I’m reminded God hears me, and he speaks to me. Even when I’m blowing it. That is just so loving. Reassuring. Kind.

A quick update from Dallas. It went pretty well last night. Standing room only crowd and lots of eager and open hearts to God. How beautiful. The last part of the evening each night is Q & A. Had a first last night – a guy asked a very long and sincere (and vulnerable) question about smoking pot and what does Jesus think about that. I’m crackin up. Never had that one before. (Now you’re wondering what I said. I told him that apart from legal issues of concern, there is the whole issue the scripture speaks to when it forbids drunkenness, how we don’t want to do anything that diminishes our ability to apprehend or walk with God, to discern him clearly. In my past life, I had some first-hand knowledge on the matter, and warned him that pot really diminishes our heart and mind from God. That he would have much joy in giving it up). Anyhow, it was a delightful moment. Q & A is my favorite part of the evening. I remember reading a story years ago about Francis Schaeffer pounding the walls in his upper loft at L’Abri, where he would go to pray, and saying “I have answers! I have answers!” His passion was moved because so many people had questions, and through long searching he knew that Christianity offers real and substantive and healing answers. He wanted so badly for people to know.

I feel the same way.

Anyhow, I’m fighting a bad sore throat today, and weariness. Don’t want to get sick. So thank you for praying for that, for our flights, that the religious spirit be bound, that we stay close to Jesus in this. And against all dismay, and all sabotage.

The Kingdom is beautiful

Whew. Okay, we are off and running. Meant to get this posted Monday, but the Tour pace has been crazy. Had the first event of the Tour Sunday night in Nashville (which was also simulcast and webcast all over). Because Jesus is good, and I know he is faithful, I’m going to say that it went well. But man was it tough. The day was full of distraction and harassment. Getting lost. Showing up at the wrong location. Running late. It was hard to stay focused. A lot of moving parts, with a brand new event, a new talk for me, so many different people running around, and of course, the warfare. Thank you for praying. We couldn’t have done it without you. I really do believe it went well. I think the webcast is going to remain available for awhile, so I’ll let you know how you can access that as soon as I figure it out myself.

Monday was Spartanburg. It too went well. Yesterday was Atlanta. A crazy day. Radio interview from my cell phone in the car, live TV interview next, then two events. In all of it, God sustained me.

The hardest part in all this is remaining True. To be entrusted with a message so beautiful and so powerful, to cut through all the swirling agendas and warfare and seductions, to just simply offer the true Jesus with clarity, man is that hard. The pull is to tone down a little, or back off, to get distracted, to forget just who God is, to take credit for this and start thinking it's about me, to give in to other agendas. I went to bed feeling all of that, and just a little grieved that some of it happened yesterday. But I had a good time of prayer this morning, and I know God is in this.

As you pray for us today, pray for our travels (Mike and Art are with me) and for the little plane we are using to run all over the place in these first five days. For our families while we are away. Pray against the religious spirit, and all distraction and sabotage. Against compromise. Pray that Jesus fills this, and that we remain True. His ability to be true, whatever the situation, be it adoration or opposition or indifference just astounds me. We want to live like that. Tonight we are in Dallas, and tomorrow in Houston. THANK YOU for praying for us. Together, we are bringing the beauty of the Kingdom and the heart of God. It's working. It is setting hearts free, and drawing so many people back to God.